** Disclaimer I’m not a medical professional, and I can’t image there is a one size fits all solution, this is just a single caring idea **

This last year has been hard for a lot of reason, there has been a pandemic, intense political unrest and so many heartbreaking social issues that are in need of solutions.

In addition to those items mentioned above, and homeschooling a little one while in isolation I’ve experienced 3 miscarriages this last year.  All of them happened fairly early in the first trimester of pregnancy, but having had three healthy, full term, births prior each one was a bit of a shock, and the further along I was the more devastating they were.  I thought the last one was going to stick around.  I was far enough along that I’d let myself start hoping and planning for the future.  I downloaded all the pregnancy apps, found myself a doctor, tried to think about what my due date might mean and how excited my family would be (my kids especially).

Then I miscarried, and felt so incredibly devastated.

I felt like it was early enough that I shouldn’t be so sad about it, but I just was.  I was heartbroken, and angry, and defeated, and lost and so so isolated.  My husband is wonderful in so many ways, but this was something he didn’t really understand and didn’t know how to support me through, and unfortunately my mom lives states away and no one else knew. … and it felt like too big of a bomb to drop of my unsuspecting friends.

My kids needed me, but I just was so so sad.

My mom is wonderful, and my family and extended family is close, and my mom is a hairdresser and does all the family members hair … and she’s also a bit of a gossip, in the most uplifting and helpful kind of way.

She asked me if she could share what had happened with my sisters so they could call me and offer some support and I agreed… but word somehow also slipped out to one of my dear cousins.  A cousin who seemed to understand what I needed even when I had no clue.

I needed support, and love, to feel seen and to know that it wasn’t okay just then, and that was okay, but things would get better.

She didn’t call or text, but she surprised me with a care package, and thinking about it still gets me a little emotional.

She sent the following:

• A heartfelt letter (Encouraging me to step back and take care of myself)
• A bag of chocolates (For self care)
• Bath bombs (For self care)
• The softest most snuggly mini blanket ever (I think it might have been the one pictured below from Walmart, I’ll link to it – Honestly this was such a surprise, but was probably the biggest comfort of all.  I snuggle with it daily, and it often makes me think of my thoughtful cousin, and just … I don’t know.  There is something about a blanket.)
  

   

• Crayola Color Wonder Magic Marker Color Packets (For my kids ages 8, 5 & 2, to keep them busy and give me a few minutes to myself.  My 8 year old honestly hates to color, but even he couldn’t resist these when he realized there were hidden pictures in them that show up only as you color the page with the included markers. Linked Here. They have a whole bunch of different themes.)
  

   

I also had many heart wrenching phone calls with the wonderful and supportive women in my life, who offered comfort to me while I cried, and helped me get through the hardest days.

A month later, I’m still sad, but things are feeling better.  I don’t have a rush of hormones taking me down and I have hope that someday I’ll get my rainbow baby.  Until then I just wanted to share this idea because it made a big difference to me when I was feeling so low and hollowed out.